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May 29, 2005
Senator John Ford creates quite a dilemma when “placed under house arrest.” (FAUX news…kinda.)
“State Sen. John Ford testified in a juvenile court hearing that he keeps two homes, living with two different women whose children he fathered.” (The Chattanooga Times Free Press, 01/25/05)
The author of this blog considered the logical ramifications when reading this headline in the Times today, 5/28/05: “John Ford placed under house arrest.” The only conclusion that I can come to is that the News Agencies throughout our state are keeping it a secret that U.S. Magistrate Diane Vescovo, though she ordered the ‘house arrest,’ has no clue where Mr. Ford should be sent. If I could contact my sources, (which thing I can’t do just now,) I am sure they would report what’s really happening. It would probably go something like this...
OFFICIAL REPORT: Subject: Sen. John Ford.
Friday, May 27, 2005 2:00 pm:
Senator Ford placed under house arrest at bond hearing.
Friday, May 27, 2005 3:31 pm:
Officers Smith and Frank transport Senator Ford to his home at 327 Loopy Lane, where he lives with his ex-wife.
Friday, May 27, 2005 3:55 pm:
Per court order, viz. “house arrest,” Officers Smith and Frank transport Senator Ford to his home at 273 Silly Street, where he resides with his girlfriend.
Friday, May 27, 2005 6:22 pm:
Officers Smith and Frank transport Senator Ford back to 327 Loopy Lane. Officer Frank radios in and requests immediate transfer, citing “stupid assignment.” Transfer granted. Officer Blythe to replace Officer Frank.
Friday, May 27, 2005 8:43 pm:
Officers Smith and Blythe transport Senator Ford back to 273 Silly Street.
Friday, May 27, 2005 11:41 pm:
Officers Smith and Blythe kept waiting as Senator Ford kisses illegitimate children and tells them “daddy has to go see his other wife. He’ll be back soon.” Officers transport Senator Ford to 327 Loopy Lane. Officer Smith requests immediate transfer. Transfer Denied.
Friday, May 27, 2005 11;52 pm:
Officer Smith nowhere to be found. Officer Blythe calls a cab for Senator Ford and deputizes cabby. Taxi driver ‘Apu’ has new title: "Official Transportation for Corrupt Senators." Special duties to include keeping this log, driving Senator Ford back and forth between homes, etc.
Saturday, May 28, 2005 1:31 am:
Cab driver ‘Apu’ quits.
(The log, I suppose, would end here.)
Carl
Posted by plumberman029 at May 29, 2005 02:26 AM
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Comments
Funny. Very funny. It's a shame this guy is from the same city as I am.
Posted by: Tyler Grisham at May 29, 2005 12:40 PM