Why Pulitzer, not to mention RandomHouse, should be ashamed; even though they probably aren't.

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January 19, 2007

Why Pulitzer, not to mention RandomHouse, should be ashamed; even though they probably aren't.

All I'm saying is this. After I read this crap, I think I've decided that if Jane Smiley got a Pulitzer, I wouldn't want one. (And trust me, I'm a plumber: I know crap when I see it.)

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| By Carl | 11:06 PM

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READ IN 2004

(Incidentally, these are in order.)

Chesterton, G.K. : "WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE WORLD."

Chesterton, G.K. : "HERETICS."

Bunyan, John : "The life & death of Mr. Badman."

Cobb, Irving S. : "COBB'S ANATOMY."

Chesterton, G.K. : "ORTHODOXY."

Penn, William : "A KEY TO QUAKERISM."

Bangs, John Kendrick : "MR. BONAPARTE OF CORSICA."

Bennett, Enoch Arnold : "HOW TO LIVE ON 24 HRS A DAY."

Watson, Rev. John (Pseud.=Ian Maclaren) : "BOOKS AND BOOKMEN."

King Jr., Rev. Martin Luther : "I HAVE A DREAM."

Lang, Andrew : "HOW TO FAIL IN LITERATURE."

Cronke, Dickory : "THE DUMB PHILOSOPHER."

Doyle, Sir Arthur Conan : "THE BRUCE PARTINGTON PLANS." ("The adventure of, etc.")

Doyle, Sir Arthur Conan : "THE CARDBOARD BOX."

Jerome, Jerome K. : "CLOCKS."

Twain, Mark : "ON THE DECAY OF THE ART OF LYING."

Hubbard, Elbert : "LITTLE JOURNEYS TO THE HOMES OF GREAT BUSINESSMEN."

Jerome, Jerome K. : "THE PHILOSOPHER'S JOKE."

Henry, Patrick : "LIBERTY OR DEATH...SPEECH."

Chesterton, G.K. : "A MISCELLANY OF MEN."

Doyle, Sir Arthur Conan : "THE DEVIL'S FOOT."

Dickens, Charles : "HUNTED DOWN."

Doyle, Sir Arthur Conan : "HIS LAST BOW."

Cardozo, Benjamin Nathan : "THE ALTRUIST IN POLITICS."

Twain, Mark : "CAPTAIN STORMFIELD'S VISIT TO HEAVEN." "HOW TO TELL A STORY." "FENIMORE COOPER'S LITERARY OFFENCES." "A DOG'S TALE."

Bangs, John Kendrick : "THE ENCHANTED TYPEWRITER."

U.S.A.C.&D. Agreement of '75 : "WORLD-WIDE EFFECTS OF NUCLEAR WAR."

??????, ?????? : "A QUESTION OF LATITUDE."

Bannerman, Helen : "THE STORY OF LITTLE BLACK SAMBO."

Doyle, Sir Arthur Conan : "THE RED CIRCLE." "THE DYING DETECTIVE."

Adams, John Quincy : "ORATIONS."

Doyle, Sir A.C. : "THE DISAPPEARANCE OF LADY FRANCES CARFAX."

Dumas, Alexandre : "CELEBRATED CRIMES, VOL 1 OF 8."

Swift, Jonathan : "THREE SERMONS, THREE PRAYERS."

Galsworthy, John : "STUDIES AND ESSAYS."

Baum, Lyman Frank : "A KIDNAPPED SANTA-CLAUS."

Huxley, Thomas Henry : "ON THE RECEPTION OF 'THE ORIGIN OF THE SPECIES'."

Huxley, Thomas Henry : "NOTE ON THE RESEMBLANCE IN THE DEVP. OF THE BRAIN IN MAN/APES."

Davis, Richard Harding : "A WASTED DAY."

Doyle, Sir A.C. : "WISTERIA LODGE."

Cobb, Irvin S. : "SPEAKING OF OPERATIONS."

Cobb, Irvin S. : "A PLEA FOR OLD CAP COLLIER."

Dickens, Charles : "THE 7 POOR TRAVELLERS."

Carpenter, John A. : "THE STAR SPANGLED BANNER."

Chesterton, G.K. : "THE CLUB OF QUEER TRADES."

Jerome, J.K. : "THE SOUL OF NICHOLAS SNYDERS."

Jerome, J.K. : "MRS. KORNER SENDS HER MERCIES."

Jerome, J.K. : "THE COST OF KINDNESS."

Twain, Mark : "CARNIVAL OF CRIME IN CT."

Twain, Mark : "EXTRACTS FROM ADAM'S DIARY."

Davis, R.H. : "THE MAKE BELIEVE MAN."

Twain, Mark : "LETTERS, VOL I." "LETTERS, VOL II."

Jerome, J.K. : "PASSING OF THE THIRD FLOOR BACK."

Jerome, J.K. : "THE LOVE OF ULRICH NEBENDAHL."

Jerome, J.K. : "DREAMS."

Twain, Mark : "LETTERS, VOL III."

Josephus, Flavius : "AN EXTRACT CONCERNING HADES TO THE GREEKS."

Kennedy, John Fitzgerald : "INAUGURAL ADDRESS, JAN 20, 1961."

Chesterton, G.K. : "THE MAN WHO WAS THURSDAY."

Chesterton, G.K. : "UTOPIA OF USERERS AND OTHER ESSAYS."

Twain, Mark : "LETTERS, VOL IV."

Stevenson, Robert Louis : "FABLES."

Bangs, J.K. : "A HOUSE-BOAT ON THE STYX."

Doyle, Sir A.C. : "THE PARASITE." (Unbelievably excellent!)

Chesterfield, Earl of : "LETTERS TO HIS SON, 1746-47."

Harte, Bret : "THE QUEEN OF PIRATE ISLE."

Beerbohm, Max : "JAMES PETHEL."

Harte, Bret : "A DRIFT FROM REDWOOD CAMP."

Barrie, J.M. : "PETER PAN IN KENSINGTON GARDENS."

Chesterton, G.K. : "THE WISDOM OF FATHER BROWN."

Chesterton, G.K. : "THE TREES OF PRIDE."

Butler, Ellis Parker : "PIGS IS PIGS."

Calhoun, John C. : "ON NULLIFICATION AND THE FORCE BILL, FEB. 15,1833."

Clemens, Samuel Langhorne : "A BURLESQUE AUTOBIOGRAPHY."

Balzac, Honore De : "THE MESSAGE."

Chesterton, G.K. : "THE EVERLASTING MAN."

Chesterton, G.K. : "THE MAN WHO KNEW TOO MUCH."

Sousa, John Philip : "THE EXPERIENCES OF A BANDMASTER."

Davis, Richard Harding : "BILLY AND THE BIG STICK."

Defoe, Daniel : "EVERYBODY'S BUSINESS IS NOBODY'S BUSINESS."

Burgess, Thorton W. : "THE ADVENTURES OF REDDY FOX."

McAfee, Cleland Boyd : "INFLUENCE OF THE KJV ON LIFE AND LITERATURE."

(These next ones=not in order.)

Rockwell, Norman : "MY ADVENTURES AS AN ILLUSTRATOR.)

Macrone, Michael : "EUREKA!"

Wyss, J.D. : "THE SWISS FAMILY ROBINSON."

Gates, Bill : "THE ROAD AHEAD."

????, ?? : "CURIOUS PUNISHMENTS OF BYGONE DAYS."

Rawlings, Dr. Maurice : "TO HELL AND BACK."

GOD : "THE BIBLE."

READ IN 2005

(Admittedly, I am doing poorly this year.)

Rowling, J.K. : "HARRY POTTER, BOOK V."

MacDonald, George: "LILITH."

Collins, Jim: "GOOD TO GREAT."

Xenophon: "ON REVENUES.(essay)"

Xenophon: "THE APOLOGY.(essay)"

Dickens, Charles: "GEORGE SILVERMAN'S EXPLANATION."

McClure, Col. Alexander K.: "LINCOLN'S YARNS AND STORIES."

Huxley, Thomas Henry: "LECTURES AND ESSAYS...2."

Huxley, Thomas Henry: "LECTURES AND ESSAYS...3."

Huxley, Thomas Henry: "LECTURES AND ESSAYS...4."

Huxley, Thomas Henry: "ON THE RECEPTION OF THE ORIGIN OF THE SPECIES."

Wells, H.G.: "GOD THE INVISIBLE KING."

Cooper, Susan Fenimore: "FEMALE SUFFRAGE."

Carroll, Lewis: "THE HUNTING OF THE SNARK."

Bunyan, John: "THE JERUSALEM SINNER SAVED."

Poe, Edgar Allan: "SHORT STORIES."

Trollope, Anthony: "HUNTING SKETCHES...(incomplete.)"

Carroll, Lewis: "ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND."

Jerome, Jerome K.: "IDLE IDEAS IN 1905."

Carroll, Lewis: "THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS."

Doyle, Sir Arthur Conan: "THE SIGN OF THE FOUR."

Lincoln, Abraham: "THE WRITINGS OF, VOL. I."

Balzac, Honore de: "STUDY OF A WOMAN."

Balzac, Honore de: "EL VERDUGO."

Balzac, Honore de: "GAUDISSART."

Casanova, Jacques: "MEMOIRS, VOL. Ia."

Balzac, Honore de: "THE ATHIEST'S MASS."

Macdonald, George: "THE PRINCESS AND CURDIE."

Casanova, Jacques: "MEMOIRS, VOL. Ib."

Clemens, Samuel Langhorne: "THE CURIOUS REPUBLIC OF GONDOUR."

Huxley, Thomas Henry: "LECTURES AND ESSAYS, VOL. I."

Huxley, Thomas Henry: "LECTURES AND ESSAYS, VOL. II."

Huxley, Thomas Henry: "LECTURES AND ESSAYS, VOL. III."

Cathy, S. Truett: "IT'S BETTER TO BUILD MEN THAN TO MEND BOYS."

Checkov, Anton: "SWAN SONG."

Cooper, James Fenimore: "THE LAKE GUN."

Doyle, Sir Arthur Conan: "TALES OF TERROR AND MYSTERY."

Chesterton, G.K.: "THE INNOCENCE OF FATHER BROWN."

Chesterton, G.K.: "THE DEFENDANT."

Chesterton, G.K.: "ALL THINGS CONSIDERED."

Chesterton, G.K.: "TWELVE TYPES."

Collins, Wilkie: "THE LEGACY OF CAIN."

Scott, Sir Walter: "THE TAPESTRIED CHAMBER."

Scott, Sir Walter: "DEATH OF THE LAIRD'S JOCK."

Scott, Sir Walter: "MY AUNT MARGARET'S MIRROR."

Warner, Charles Dudley: "SOME CAUSES OF THE PREVAILING DISCONTENT."

Warner, Charles Dudley: "INDETERMINATE SENTENCE."

Doyle, Sir Arthur Conan: "THE RETURN OF SHERLOCK HOLMES."

Chesterton, G.K.: "TREMENDOUS TRIFLES."

Roosevelt, Pres. Franklin: "INAUGURAL SPEECH, MAR. 4, 1933."

Bangs, John Kendrick: "A REBELLIOUS HEROINE."

Chesterton, G.K.: "ROBERT BROWNING."

Doyle, Sir Arthur Conan: "THE HOUND OF THE BASKERVILLES."

Lahaye/Jenkins: "GLORIOUS APPEARING."

Doyle, Sir Arhtur Conan: "THE ADVENTURES OF SHERLOCK HOLMES."

READ IN 2006

(I am doing better this year; these are in order.)

Shaw, Bernard: "A TREATISE ON PARENTS AND CHILDREN."

Rowling, J.K.: "HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF-BLOOD PRINCE."

Doyle, Sir Arthur: "A STUDY IN SCARLET." (2x)

Doyle, Sir Arthur: "MEMOIRS OF SHERLOCK HOLMES."

Chesterton, G.K.: "THE CRIMES OF ENGLAND."

Doyle, Sir Arthur: "THE CAPTAIN OF THE POLESTAR, OTHERS."

Doyle, Sir Arthur: "THE LOST WORLD."

Knox, John: "THE FIRST BLAST AGAINST...WOMEN."

Abbot, Jacob: "GENTLE MEASURES...[TO] TRAIN THE YOUNG."

Verne, Jules: "AROUND THE WORLD IN 80 DAYS."

Chesterton, G.K.: "THE INCREDULITY OF FATHER BROWN."

Bangs, John Kendrick: "THE WATER GHOST, OTHERS."

Chesterton, G.K.: "THE ARROW OF HEAVEN."

Jerome, Jerome K.: "THE COST OF KINDNESS."

Chesterton, G.K.: "THE SCANDAL OF FATHER BROWN."

Doyle, Sir Arthur: "THE VALLEY OF FEAR."

Chesterton, G.K.: "THE PARADOXES OF MR. POND."

Chesterton, G.K.: "TALES OF THE LONG BOW."

Chesterton, G.K.: "FOUR FAULTLESS FELONS."

Chesterton, G.K.: "THE SECRET OF FATHER BROWN."

Bunyan, John: "THE PILGRIM'S PROGRESS."

Bacon, Sir Francis: "VALERIUS TERMINUS."

Bacon, Sir Francis: "ON THE ADVANCEMENT OF LEARNING."

U.S. Dept. Energy: "TRINITY SITE." (A short history.)

Huxley, Thomas Henry: "ON THE METHOD OF ZADIG." (lecture/essay.)

Huxley, Thomas Henry: "INTERPRETERS OF GEN./NATURE. (ibid.)

Plato: "ALCIBIADES I."

Doyle, Sir Arthur: "ROUND THE RED LAMP."

Mme. de Lafayette: "THE PRINCESS MONTPENSIER."

Appleton, Victor: "TOM SWIFT AMONG THE FIREFIGHTERS."

Doyle, Sir Arthur Conan: "THE POISON BELT."

Shaw, George Bernard: "THE PERFECT WAGNERITE."

Davis, Richard Harding: "THE LOG OF THE JOLLY POLLY."

Pinches, Theophilus G., LL.D.: "THE RELIGION OF BABYLONIA...ASSYRIA."

Dickens, Charles: "THREE GHOST STORIES."

???????: "DEFENDERS OF DEMOCRACY."

Dickens, Charles: "MISCELLANEOUS PAPERS." (essays)

Balzac, Honore de: "MURAT."

Addison, Joseph: "THE SPECTATOR."

Wells, Herbert George: "THE TIME MACHINE."

Coleridge, Samuel Taylor: "THE RHYME OF THE ANCIENT MARINER." (poem)

Doyle, Sir Arthur Conan: "THE SIGN OF THE FOUR." (I know, but it was gooooood.)

Chesterton, G.K.: "THE MAN WHO WAS THURSDAY."

Verne, Jules: "OFF ON A COMET."

Verne, Jules: "IN SEARCH OF THE CASTAWAYS, bk.1."

Christie, Agatha: "THE MYSTERIOUS AFFAIR AT STILES."

Poe, Edgar Allan: "THE MURDERS IN THE RUE MORGUE."

Verne, Jules: "JOURNEY TO THE CENTER OF THE EARTH."

Doyle, Sir Arthur Conan: "A STUDY IN SCARLET."

Leveen, Steve: "THE LITTLE GUIDE TO A WELL-READ LIFE."

Poe, Edgar Allan: "THE MYSTERY OF MARIE ROGET."

Huxley, Aldous: "CROME YELLOW."

Dickens, Charles: "A CHRISTMAS CAROL."

Wells, H.G.: "WAR OF THE WORLDS."

Stevenson, Robert Louis: "TREASURE ISLAND."

Wilde, Oscar: "SHORTER PROSE PIECES."

Bierce, Ambrose: "THE PARENTICIDE CLUB."

Webster, Daniel: "THE GREAT SPEECHES AND ORATIONS OF."

Bierce, Ambrose: "AN OCCURRENCE AT OWL CREEK BRIDGE."

Melville, Herman: "TYPEE."

Bierce, Ambrose: "THE FIEND'S DELIGHT."

Blackmore, Sir Richard: "ESSAY UPON WIT."

Bastiat, Frederic: "THE LAW."

Hendrickson, Peter Eric: "CRACKING THE CODE."

Douglass, Frederick: "THE LIFE OF FREDERICK DOUGLASS."

Bierce, Ambrose: "FANTASTIC FABLES."

Bierce, Ambrose: "A CYNIC LOOKS AT LIFE."

Bierce, Ambrose: "WRITE IT RIGHT."

Baldwin, James: "THE GREEK MYTHS, VOL. I."

Bierce, Ambrose: "COBWEBS FROM AN EMPTY SKULL."

Shelton, D./Quinn, S.: "THE TEN COMMANDMENTS, TWICE REMOVED."

Defoe, Daniel: "MOLL FLANDERS."

Kafka, Franz: "METAMORPHOSIS."

Rand, Ayn: "ANTHEM."

Conrad, Joseph: "YOUTH."

Conrad, Joseph: "TOMORROW."

Jerome, Jerome Klapka: "THE ANGEL AND THE AUTHOR."

Jerome, Jerome K.: "IDLE THOUGHTS OF AN IDLE FELLOW."

Jerome, Jerome K.: "THEY AND I."

Wells, H.G.: "THE MAGIC SHOP."

Verne, Jules: "800 LEAGUES ON THE AMAZON."

Bierce, Ambrose: "THE COLLECTED WORKS OF, VOL. 8."

?????: "THE INFLUENCE OF CHARACTER."

Stevenson, R.L.: "THE ART OF WRITING."

Bligh, Nellie: "TEN DAYS IN A MADHOUSE."

Francis, Dick: "SLAY RIDE."

Jerome, Jerome K.: "THE SECOND IDLE THOUGHTS OF AN IDLE FELLOW."

Doyle, Sir Arthur Conan: "THE ADVENTURES OF SHERLOCK HOLMES."

Brothers Grimm: "FAIRY STORIES."

Dumas, Alexandre: "THE COUNT OF MONTE CRISTO."

Dumas, Alexandre: "THE BLACK TULIP."

Dumas, Alexandre: "CELEBRATED CRIMES, VOL. I."

Wister, Owen: "PHILOSOPHY FOUR."

Wister, Owen: "MOTHER."

Haggard, Sir Henry Rider: "KING SOLOMON'S MINES."

Pyle, Howard: "THE BOOK OF PIRATES."

Wells, H.G.: "THE INVISIBLE MAN."

Collodi, C.: "THE ADVENTURES OF PINOCCHIO."

Wells, H.G.: "THE NEW MACHIAVELLI."

Xenophon: "HIERO."

Wells, H.G.: "THE ISLAND OF DR. MOREAU."

Wells, H.G.: "THE STOLEN BACILLUS, AND OTHERS."

Conrad, Joseph: "THE HEART OF DARKNESS."

Wells, H.G.: "THE WHEELS OF CHANCE, A BICYCLING IDYLL."

Bennett, Arnold: "THE CARD."

Doyle, Sir Arthur Conan: "THROUGH THE MAGIC DOOR."

Wells, H.G.: "CERTAIN PERSONAL MATTERS."

Stevenson, R.L.: "DR. JEKYLL AND MR. HYDE." (+9 times)

Balzac, Honore de: "FOLKTALES OF NAPOLEON."

Doyle, Sir Arthur Conan: "THE MYSTERY OF CLOOMBER."

Stevenson, R.L.: "THE DYNAMITER."

Bennett, Arnold: "LITERARY TASTE, AND HOW TO FORM IT."

Bennett, Arnold: "THE AUTHOR'S CRAFT."

Gumbel, Nicky: "THE DAVINCI CODE: A RESPONSE."

READ IN 2008

Thompson, Charles: "BIOGRAPHY OF A SLAVE."

Benson, Luther: "15 YEARS IN HELL."

Verne, Jules: "20,000 LEAGUES UNDER THE SEA."

Abbott, Jacob: "PETER THE GREAT."

Davis, Noah: "THE LIFE OF REVEREND NOAH DAVIS."

Abbott, Jacob: "ALEXANDER THE GREAT."

Brebner, Percy: "THE MASTER DETECTIVE."

Houdini, Harry: "THE RIGHT WAY TO DO THE WRONG THING."

Dickens, Charles: "HUNTED DOWN."

January 19, 2007

Why Pulitzer, not to mention RandomHouse, should be ashamed; even though they probably aren't.

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