How to avoid giving to the poor; or Just use the Parking meters please.

« Belmont City Council Bans smoking in some homes...for now. | Main | What is this world coming to when you can't burn Guy Fawkes in effigy? »

October 17, 2007

How to avoid giving to the poor; or Just use the Parking meters please.

The mayor has a brilliant new plan on how to help the poor:

"Don't give em money. They're poor anyway, whadda they need it for?"

More as this story develops.

HT Josiah.

In a related story, the City of Chattanooga has now outlawed helping other people entirely. "Ideally what we'd like to see," the mayor's spokesperson said at an earlier news conference, "is this. Whenever you think about doing something nice for your fellowman, don't. Just stop. Even if you're in the middle of the act itself. Later that week, when you're downtown on some errand, drop a nickel in one of our highly-decorative parking meters. BAM! You've helped your fellow man!

It really is just as easy as that.

You don't have to deal with real, live people. Their stories are boring--they are your neighbors after all--and it really isn't your fault they're in the jam they're in. Just take that one tiny nickel--a penny if you haven't got that; we'll understand--and plunk it into our shiny collection boxes. And when you go to bed at night, you'll sleep better. Honestly, you will. 'Cause even if you did shove that old lady down in the mall why, Chattanooga is gonna collect money to pick her right back up again!

There is one precaution, though. Don't stick your money into one of our other tax-grabbing, money-grubbing machines. Otherwise it just goes to line our pockets."

Share and Enjoy: These icons link to social bookmarking sites where readers can share and discover new web pages.

mOros | By Carl | 09:33 PM

Trackback Pings

TrackBack URL for this entry:
http://chattablogs.com/mt/mt-tb.cgi/43659

Listed below are links to weblogs that reference How to avoid giving to the poor; or Just use the Parking meters please.:

SITE INFO

BLOGARAMA

Free Search Engine Submission

Web Pages referring to this page

Link to this page and get a link back!

If you have any questions about your blog on CHATTABLOGS or need technical support, visit The Official Terrablog and leave a comment.

READ IN 2004

(Incidentally, these are in order.)

Chesterton, G.K. : "WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE WORLD."

Chesterton, G.K. : "HERETICS."

Bunyan, John : "The life & death of Mr. Badman."

Cobb, Irving S. : "COBB'S ANATOMY."

Chesterton, G.K. : "ORTHODOXY."

Penn, William : "A KEY TO QUAKERISM."

Bangs, John Kendrick : "MR. BONAPARTE OF CORSICA."

Bennett, Enoch Arnold : "HOW TO LIVE ON 24 HRS A DAY."

Watson, Rev. John (Pseud.=Ian Maclaren) : "BOOKS AND BOOKMEN."

King Jr., Rev. Martin Luther : "I HAVE A DREAM."

Lang, Andrew : "HOW TO FAIL IN LITERATURE."

Cronke, Dickory : "THE DUMB PHILOSOPHER."

Doyle, Sir Arthur Conan : "THE BRUCE PARTINGTON PLANS." ("The adventure of, etc.")

Doyle, Sir Arthur Conan : "THE CARDBOARD BOX."

Jerome, Jerome K. : "CLOCKS."

Twain, Mark : "ON THE DECAY OF THE ART OF LYING."

Hubbard, Elbert : "LITTLE JOURNEYS TO THE HOMES OF GREAT BUSINESSMEN."

Jerome, Jerome K. : "THE PHILOSOPHER'S JOKE."

Henry, Patrick : "LIBERTY OR DEATH...SPEECH."

Chesterton, G.K. : "A MISCELLANY OF MEN."

Doyle, Sir Arthur Conan : "THE DEVIL'S FOOT."

Dickens, Charles : "HUNTED DOWN."

Doyle, Sir Arthur Conan : "HIS LAST BOW."

Cardozo, Benjamin Nathan : "THE ALTRUIST IN POLITICS."

Twain, Mark : "CAPTAIN STORMFIELD'S VISIT TO HEAVEN." "HOW TO TELL A STORY." "FENIMORE COOPER'S LITERARY OFFENCES." "A DOG'S TALE."

Bangs, John Kendrick : "THE ENCHANTED TYPEWRITER."

U.S.A.C.&D. Agreement of '75 : "WORLD-WIDE EFFECTS OF NUCLEAR WAR."

??????, ?????? : "A QUESTION OF LATITUDE."

Bannerman, Helen : "THE STORY OF LITTLE BLACK SAMBO."

Doyle, Sir Arthur Conan : "THE RED CIRCLE." "THE DYING DETECTIVE."

Adams, John Quincy : "ORATIONS."

Doyle, Sir A.C. : "THE DISAPPEARANCE OF LADY FRANCES CARFAX."

Dumas, Alexandre : "CELEBRATED CRIMES, VOL 1 OF 8."

Swift, Jonathan : "THREE SERMONS, THREE PRAYERS."

Galsworthy, John : "STUDIES AND ESSAYS."

Baum, Lyman Frank : "A KIDNAPPED SANTA-CLAUS."

Huxley, Thomas Henry : "ON THE RECEPTION OF 'THE ORIGIN OF THE SPECIES'."

Huxley, Thomas Henry : "NOTE ON THE RESEMBLANCE IN THE DEVP. OF THE BRAIN IN MAN/APES."

Davis, Richard Harding : "A WASTED DAY."

Doyle, Sir A.C. : "WISTERIA LODGE."

Cobb, Irvin S. : "SPEAKING OF OPERATIONS."

Cobb, Irvin S. : "A PLEA FOR OLD CAP COLLIER."

Dickens, Charles : "THE 7 POOR TRAVELLERS."

Carpenter, John A. : "THE STAR SPANGLED BANNER."

Chesterton, G.K. : "THE CLUB OF QUEER TRADES."

Jerome, J.K. : "THE SOUL OF NICHOLAS SNYDERS."

Jerome, J.K. : "MRS. KORNER SENDS HER MERCIES."

Jerome, J.K. : "THE COST OF KINDNESS."

Twain, Mark : "CARNIVAL OF CRIME IN CT."

Twain, Mark : "EXTRACTS FROM ADAM'S DIARY."

Davis, R.H. : "THE MAKE BELIEVE MAN."

Twain, Mark : "LETTERS, VOL I." "LETTERS, VOL II."

Jerome, J.K. : "PASSING OF THE THIRD FLOOR BACK."

Jerome, J.K. : "THE LOVE OF ULRICH NEBENDAHL."

Jerome, J.K. : "DREAMS."

Twain, Mark : "LETTERS, VOL III."

Josephus, Flavius : "AN EXTRACT CONCERNING HADES TO THE GREEKS."

Kennedy, John Fitzgerald : "INAUGURAL ADDRESS, JAN 20, 1961."

Chesterton, G.K. : "THE MAN WHO WAS THURSDAY."

Chesterton, G.K. : "UTOPIA OF USERERS AND OTHER ESSAYS."

Twain, Mark : "LETTERS, VOL IV."

Stevenson, Robert Louis : "FABLES."

Bangs, J.K. : "A HOUSE-BOAT ON THE STYX."

Doyle, Sir A.C. : "THE PARASITE." (Unbelievably excellent!)

Chesterfield, Earl of : "LETTERS TO HIS SON, 1746-47."

Harte, Bret : "THE QUEEN OF PIRATE ISLE."

Beerbohm, Max : "JAMES PETHEL."

Harte, Bret : "A DRIFT FROM REDWOOD CAMP."

Barrie, J.M. : "PETER PAN IN KENSINGTON GARDENS."

Chesterton, G.K. : "THE WISDOM OF FATHER BROWN."

Chesterton, G.K. : "THE TREES OF PRIDE."

Butler, Ellis Parker : "PIGS IS PIGS."

Calhoun, John C. : "ON NULLIFICATION AND THE FORCE BILL, FEB. 15,1833."

Clemens, Samuel Langhorne : "A BURLESQUE AUTOBIOGRAPHY."

Balzac, Honore De : "THE MESSAGE."

Chesterton, G.K. : "THE EVERLASTING MAN."

Chesterton, G.K. : "THE MAN WHO KNEW TOO MUCH."

Sousa, John Philip : "THE EXPERIENCES OF A BANDMASTER."

Davis, Richard Harding : "BILLY AND THE BIG STICK."

Defoe, Daniel : "EVERYBODY'S BUSINESS IS NOBODY'S BUSINESS."

Burgess, Thorton W. : "THE ADVENTURES OF REDDY FOX."

McAfee, Cleland Boyd : "INFLUENCE OF THE KJV ON LIFE AND LITERATURE."

(These next ones=not in order.)

Rockwell, Norman : "MY ADVENTURES AS AN ILLUSTRATOR.)

Macrone, Michael : "EUREKA!"

Wyss, J.D. : "THE SWISS FAMILY ROBINSON."

Gates, Bill : "THE ROAD AHEAD."

????, ?? : "CURIOUS PUNISHMENTS OF BYGONE DAYS."

Rawlings, Dr. Maurice : "TO HELL AND BACK."

GOD : "THE BIBLE."

READ IN 2005

(Admittedly, I am doing poorly this year.)

Rowling, J.K. : "HARRY POTTER, BOOK V."

MacDonald, George: "LILITH."

Collins, Jim: "GOOD TO GREAT."

Xenophon: "ON REVENUES.(essay)"

Xenophon: "THE APOLOGY.(essay)"

Dickens, Charles: "GEORGE SILVERMAN'S EXPLANATION."

McClure, Col. Alexander K.: "LINCOLN'S YARNS AND STORIES."

Huxley, Thomas Henry: "LECTURES AND ESSAYS...2."

Huxley, Thomas Henry: "LECTURES AND ESSAYS...3."

Huxley, Thomas Henry: "LECTURES AND ESSAYS...4."

Huxley, Thomas Henry: "ON THE RECEPTION OF THE ORIGIN OF THE SPECIES."

Wells, H.G.: "GOD THE INVISIBLE KING."

Cooper, Susan Fenimore: "FEMALE SUFFRAGE."

Carroll, Lewis: "THE HUNTING OF THE SNARK."

Bunyan, John: "THE JERUSALEM SINNER SAVED."

Poe, Edgar Allan: "SHORT STORIES."

Trollope, Anthony: "HUNTING SKETCHES...(incomplete.)"

Carroll, Lewis: "ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND."

Jerome, Jerome K.: "IDLE IDEAS IN 1905."

Carroll, Lewis: "THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS."

Doyle, Sir Arthur Conan: "THE SIGN OF THE FOUR."

Lincoln, Abraham: "THE WRITINGS OF, VOL. I."

Balzac, Honore de: "STUDY OF A WOMAN."

Balzac, Honore de: "EL VERDUGO."

Balzac, Honore de: "GAUDISSART."

Casanova, Jacques: "MEMOIRS, VOL. Ia."

Balzac, Honore de: "THE ATHIEST'S MASS."

Macdonald, George: "THE PRINCESS AND CURDIE."

Casanova, Jacques: "MEMOIRS, VOL. Ib."

Clemens, Samuel Langhorne: "THE CURIOUS REPUBLIC OF GONDOUR."

Huxley, Thomas Henry: "LECTURES AND ESSAYS, VOL. I."

Huxley, Thomas Henry: "LECTURES AND ESSAYS, VOL. II."

Huxley, Thomas Henry: "LECTURES AND ESSAYS, VOL. III."

Cathy, S. Truett: "IT'S BETTER TO BUILD MEN THAN TO MEND BOYS."

Checkov, Anton: "SWAN SONG."

Cooper, James Fenimore: "THE LAKE GUN."

Doyle, Sir Arthur Conan: "TALES OF TERROR AND MYSTERY."

Chesterton, G.K.: "THE INNOCENCE OF FATHER BROWN."

Chesterton, G.K.: "THE DEFENDANT."

Chesterton, G.K.: "ALL THINGS CONSIDERED."

Chesterton, G.K.: "TWELVE TYPES."

Collins, Wilkie: "THE LEGACY OF CAIN."

Scott, Sir Walter: "THE TAPESTRIED CHAMBER."

Scott, Sir Walter: "DEATH OF THE LAIRD'S JOCK."

Scott, Sir Walter: "MY AUNT MARGARET'S MIRROR."

Warner, Charles Dudley: "SOME CAUSES OF THE PREVAILING DISCONTENT."

Warner, Charles Dudley: "INDETERMINATE SENTENCE."

Doyle, Sir Arthur Conan: "THE RETURN OF SHERLOCK HOLMES."

Chesterton, G.K.: "TREMENDOUS TRIFLES."

Roosevelt, Pres. Franklin: "INAUGURAL SPEECH, MAR. 4, 1933."

Bangs, John Kendrick: "A REBELLIOUS HEROINE."

Chesterton, G.K.: "ROBERT BROWNING."

Doyle, Sir Arthur Conan: "THE HOUND OF THE BASKERVILLES."

Lahaye/Jenkins: "GLORIOUS APPEARING."

Doyle, Sir Arhtur Conan: "THE ADVENTURES OF SHERLOCK HOLMES."

READ IN 2006

(I am doing better this year; these are in order.)

Shaw, Bernard: "A TREATISE ON PARENTS AND CHILDREN."

Rowling, J.K.: "HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF-BLOOD PRINCE."

Doyle, Sir Arthur: "A STUDY IN SCARLET." (2x)

Doyle, Sir Arthur: "MEMOIRS OF SHERLOCK HOLMES."

Chesterton, G.K.: "THE CRIMES OF ENGLAND."

Doyle, Sir Arthur: "THE CAPTAIN OF THE POLESTAR, OTHERS."

Doyle, Sir Arthur: "THE LOST WORLD."

Knox, John: "THE FIRST BLAST AGAINST...WOMEN."

Abbot, Jacob: "GENTLE MEASURES...[TO] TRAIN THE YOUNG."

Verne, Jules: "AROUND THE WORLD IN 80 DAYS."

Chesterton, G.K.: "THE INCREDULITY OF FATHER BROWN."

Bangs, John Kendrick: "THE WATER GHOST, OTHERS."

Chesterton, G.K.: "THE ARROW OF HEAVEN."

Jerome, Jerome K.: "THE COST OF KINDNESS."

Chesterton, G.K.: "THE SCANDAL OF FATHER BROWN."

Doyle, Sir Arthur: "THE VALLEY OF FEAR."

Chesterton, G.K.: "THE PARADOXES OF MR. POND."

Chesterton, G.K.: "TALES OF THE LONG BOW."

Chesterton, G.K.: "FOUR FAULTLESS FELONS."

Chesterton, G.K.: "THE SECRET OF FATHER BROWN."

Bunyan, John: "THE PILGRIM'S PROGRESS."

Bacon, Sir Francis: "VALERIUS TERMINUS."

Bacon, Sir Francis: "ON THE ADVANCEMENT OF LEARNING."

U.S. Dept. Energy: "TRINITY SITE." (A short history.)

Huxley, Thomas Henry: "ON THE METHOD OF ZADIG." (lecture/essay.)

Huxley, Thomas Henry: "INTERPRETERS OF GEN./NATURE. (ibid.)

Plato: "ALCIBIADES I."

Doyle, Sir Arthur: "ROUND THE RED LAMP."

Mme. de Lafayette: "THE PRINCESS MONTPENSIER."

Appleton, Victor: "TOM SWIFT AMONG THE FIREFIGHTERS."

Doyle, Sir Arthur Conan: "THE POISON BELT."

Shaw, George Bernard: "THE PERFECT WAGNERITE."

Davis, Richard Harding: "THE LOG OF THE JOLLY POLLY."

Pinches, Theophilus G., LL.D.: "THE RELIGION OF BABYLONIA...ASSYRIA."

Dickens, Charles: "THREE GHOST STORIES."

???????: "DEFENDERS OF DEMOCRACY."

Dickens, Charles: "MISCELLANEOUS PAPERS." (essays)

Balzac, Honore de: "MURAT."

Addison, Joseph: "THE SPECTATOR."

Wells, Herbert George: "THE TIME MACHINE."

Coleridge, Samuel Taylor: "THE RHYME OF THE ANCIENT MARINER." (poem)

Doyle, Sir Arthur Conan: "THE SIGN OF THE FOUR." (I know, but it was gooooood.)

Chesterton, G.K.: "THE MAN WHO WAS THURSDAY."

Verne, Jules: "OFF ON A COMET."

Verne, Jules: "IN SEARCH OF THE CASTAWAYS, bk.1."

Christie, Agatha: "THE MYSTERIOUS AFFAIR AT STILES."

Poe, Edgar Allan: "THE MURDERS IN THE RUE MORGUE."

Verne, Jules: "JOURNEY TO THE CENTER OF THE EARTH."

Doyle, Sir Arthur Conan: "A STUDY IN SCARLET."

Leveen, Steve: "THE LITTLE GUIDE TO A WELL-READ LIFE."

Poe, Edgar Allan: "THE MYSTERY OF MARIE ROGET."

Huxley, Aldous: "CROME YELLOW."

Dickens, Charles: "A CHRISTMAS CAROL."

Wells, H.G.: "WAR OF THE WORLDS."

Stevenson, Robert Louis: "TREASURE ISLAND."

Wilde, Oscar: "SHORTER PROSE PIECES."

Bierce, Ambrose: "THE PARENTICIDE CLUB."

Webster, Daniel: "THE GREAT SPEECHES AND ORATIONS OF."

Bierce, Ambrose: "AN OCCURRENCE AT OWL CREEK BRIDGE."

Melville, Herman: "TYPEE."

Bierce, Ambrose: "THE FIEND'S DELIGHT."

Blackmore, Sir Richard: "ESSAY UPON WIT."

Bastiat, Frederic: "THE LAW."

Hendrickson, Peter Eric: "CRACKING THE CODE."

Douglass, Frederick: "THE LIFE OF FREDERICK DOUGLASS."

Bierce, Ambrose: "FANTASTIC FABLES."

Bierce, Ambrose: "A CYNIC LOOKS AT LIFE."

Bierce, Ambrose: "WRITE IT RIGHT."

Baldwin, James: "THE GREEK MYTHS, VOL. I."

Bierce, Ambrose: "COBWEBS FROM AN EMPTY SKULL."

Shelton, D./Quinn, S.: "THE TEN COMMANDMENTS, TWICE REMOVED."

Defoe, Daniel: "MOLL FLANDERS."

Kafka, Franz: "METAMORPHOSIS."

Rand, Ayn: "ANTHEM."

Conrad, Joseph: "YOUTH."

Conrad, Joseph: "TOMORROW."

Jerome, Jerome Klapka: "THE ANGEL AND THE AUTHOR."

Jerome, Jerome K.: "IDLE THOUGHTS OF AN IDLE FELLOW."

Jerome, Jerome K.: "THEY AND I."

Wells, H.G.: "THE MAGIC SHOP."

Verne, Jules: "800 LEAGUES ON THE AMAZON."

Bierce, Ambrose: "THE COLLECTED WORKS OF, VOL. 8."

?????: "THE INFLUENCE OF CHARACTER."

Stevenson, R.L.: "THE ART OF WRITING."

Bligh, Nellie: "TEN DAYS IN A MADHOUSE."

Francis, Dick: "SLAY RIDE."

Jerome, Jerome K.: "THE SECOND IDLE THOUGHTS OF AN IDLE FELLOW."

Doyle, Sir Arthur Conan: "THE ADVENTURES OF SHERLOCK HOLMES."

Brothers Grimm: "FAIRY STORIES."

Dumas, Alexandre: "THE COUNT OF MONTE CRISTO."

Dumas, Alexandre: "THE BLACK TULIP."

Dumas, Alexandre: "CELEBRATED CRIMES, VOL. I."

Wister, Owen: "PHILOSOPHY FOUR."

Wister, Owen: "MOTHER."

Haggard, Sir Henry Rider: "KING SOLOMON'S MINES."

Pyle, Howard: "THE BOOK OF PIRATES."

Wells, H.G.: "THE INVISIBLE MAN."

Collodi, C.: "THE ADVENTURES OF PINOCCHIO."

Wells, H.G.: "THE NEW MACHIAVELLI."

Xenophon: "HIERO."

Wells, H.G.: "THE ISLAND OF DR. MOREAU."

Wells, H.G.: "THE STOLEN BACILLUS, AND OTHERS."

Conrad, Joseph: "THE HEART OF DARKNESS."

Wells, H.G.: "THE WHEELS OF CHANCE, A BICYCLING IDYLL."

Bennett, Arnold: "THE CARD."

Doyle, Sir Arthur Conan: "THROUGH THE MAGIC DOOR."

Wells, H.G.: "CERTAIN PERSONAL MATTERS."

Stevenson, R.L.: "DR. JEKYLL AND MR. HYDE." (+9 times)

Balzac, Honore de: "FOLKTALES OF NAPOLEON."

Doyle, Sir Arthur Conan: "THE MYSTERY OF CLOOMBER."

Stevenson, R.L.: "THE DYNAMITER."

Bennett, Arnold: "LITERARY TASTE, AND HOW TO FORM IT."

Bennett, Arnold: "THE AUTHOR'S CRAFT."

Gumbel, Nicky: "THE DAVINCI CODE: A RESPONSE."

READ IN 2008

Thompson, Charles: "BIOGRAPHY OF A SLAVE."

Benson, Luther: "15 YEARS IN HELL."

Verne, Jules: "20,000 LEAGUES UNDER THE SEA."

Abbott, Jacob: "PETER THE GREAT."

Davis, Noah: "THE LIFE OF REVEREND NOAH DAVIS."

Abbott, Jacob: "ALEXANDER THE GREAT."

Brebner, Percy: "THE MASTER DETECTIVE."

Houdini, Harry: "THE RIGHT WAY TO DO THE WRONG THING."

Dickens, Charles: "HUNTED DOWN."

October 17, 2007

How to avoid giving to the poor; or Just use the Parking meters please.

Trackback Pings

SEARCH

LINKS

BOOKS: PUBLIC DOMAIN

SITE INFO

OTHER BLOGS

HOSTED BY

CHRISTIAN BLOGGERS

BLOGS AGAINST HILLARY

READ IN 2004

READ IN 2005

READ IN 2006

READ IN 2008