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March 30, 2007
Kinda funny it's online...
...this, I mean. (Found at Josiah's, here.)
I think--and honestly, I mean no disrespect; I'm just having fun--but I think the title should have been something more like this:
"Why I am NOT going to buy a computer: click this link to read why."
Posted by Carl at 12:18 AM | TrackBack
March 26, 2007
The Story of Mr. Sheffield, Part I.
"So whaddya think, doc?"
I sat nervously biting my fingernails. The doctor, no doubt making use of his training, sat austere, and calmly reviewed my file. His white coat stood in stark contrast to the black mood which enveloped my mind.
When a car rattles for a mile or two, some people take notice. When a car pings and knocks for a month, a few more are likely to observe it. But when a car smokes and knocks, only a fool ignores it.
With shame I admit I acted the fool. For too long I ignored the warning signs that told of the breakdown of this human machine.
"Your case is quite singular, Mr. Sheffield."
The doctor's voice sounded distant through the clouds of confusion that darkened my reason.
"I have never," he continued, "seen an actual case like yours. Oh don't get me wrong. During my training we studied textbook cases which described symptoms that were similar to yours. Our professors told us, in theory, what we should do if ever a patient of ours should have just such an affliction. And yet," He paused, chuckled mirthlessly, and then continued. "And yet, I must confess their theories seem trivial froth when I see an actual case of what was, before, purely theoretical."
I laughed nervously.
"Which brings me back to my original question, doc: Whaddya think?"
"I think," he said, closing my file with somewhat more of a finality than I would have liked. "I think..."
But this was as far as he got. He leaned back in his great, squeaky leather chair, pulled the rectangular glasses off his face, and rubbed the bridged of his nose, slowly. After a few minutes, a sigh escaped him.
That single, solitary answered my questions far better than words ever could.
I smiled, weakly, physically straining with the effort.
"There's no hope then, eh?"
His eyes were still closed. With a grim, sorrowful expression etched in his face, he sadly shook his head from side to side.
For a few minutes we sat in silence. Outside his office, the afternoon sun persistently strove to pierce the gloom that enveloped his office and my mind. I could see the birds, but couldn't hear them, twittering, full of glee, in the branches of a dogwood that was rooted near his window.
A single, bitter tear rolled down my ashen cheek. Opening his eyes, the doctor looked at me and offered a compassionate smile.
"You could," he said, but I stopped him.
"No. I couldn't. And even if I could, I wouldn't." He nodded, knowingly. "I'm not dead yet." I said with more persuasion than I actually felt. "I'm not dead yet." I repeated again.
He nodded. "That's true, Mr. Sheffield. That's very true."
"There may yet be hope." I cried suddenly, in paroxysm of euphoria. My eyes shone with emotion. "I've heard...I've heard that in France scientists have developed a new, albeit untested," I admitted...he stopped me short with a look.
"Mr. Sheffield, I have practiced medicine for nearly thirty years. There has never been--heed me, Mr. Sheffield--there has never been a single case to unfolded as you now hope."
I frowned slightly as he continued.
"You would do well to make the best use of the time that is remaining to you. The only cure for you is that from which no man ever returns."
Continued...
Posted by Carl at 01:55 AM | TrackBack
March 17, 2007
Join forces with the mighty 2%.
If you support impeaching President Bush, why then, join forces with the mighty 2 percent of Americans like you, and let your voice be heard.
Found here.
Posted by Carl at 11:02 AM | TrackBack
March 04, 2007
What it means to be an American.
"In the first place we should insist that if the immigrant who comes here in good faith becomes an American and assimilates himself to us, he shall be treated on an exact equality with everyone else, for it is an outrage to discriminate against any such man because of creed, or birthplace, or origin.
But this is predicated upon the man's becoming in very fact an American, and nothing but an American...There can be no divided allegiance here. Any man who says he is an American, but something else also, isn't an American at all.
We have room for but one flag, the American flag, and this excludes the red flag, which symbolizes all wars against liberty and civilization, just as much as it excludes any foreign flag of a nation to which we are hostile...We have room for but one language here, and that is the English language...and we have room for but one sole loyalty and that is a loyalty to the American people."Theodore Roosevelt January 03, 1919
(Found here; Emphasis mine.)
Amen.
Posted by Carl at 01:23 AM | TrackBack
March 02, 2007
Yep. Global Warming is real...REE-AL I tell ya!
On Mars anyway...
Story here.
Posted by Carl at 11:16 PM | TrackBack
Monkey Jesus?
"The "Parable of the Gorilla" begins with a Renaissance painting of Mary and baby Jesus. The voice over by a standup comedian begins: He was born in a manger a long time ago – not to a virgin – but to a gorilla. What's so funny? Who did you expect his ancestors to look like, Tom Cruise? But wait. I'm not making fun of Jesus. I'm not mocking religion." (Found here; Emphasis Mine.)
No, no, Ms. Rimm, nobody thinks your "making fun of Jesus." Why should they? No intelligent being actually believes they are descended from a monkey.
Posted by Carl at 11:11 PM | TrackBack
Ann Coulter may have said it...
...but she didn't say it first.
"Ann Coulter, bestselling author of "Godless: The Church of Liberalism," a WorldNetDaily columnist and featured speaker at WND's upcoming NewsExpo2007 event, said Hitler was simply taking Darwinism from the theoretical to the practical. (Found here at World Net Daily; Emphasis Mine.)
Mynym did.
And he's been saying it for, oh, at least three years.
Posted by Carl at 10:56 PM | TrackBack
I AIN'T making any comparisons; I'm just saying that this quote is certainly...interesting.
There are certainly many people who want to ban smoking in the Waffle House. And I suppose it makes no difference to observe that these people don't own a Waffle House.
But hear me out before you continue reading: I AM NOT---CONSCIOUSLY OR UNCONSCIOUSLY---MAKING ANY ALLUSIONS, COMPARISONS, SIMILES, METAPHORS---INTENTIONALLY OR UNINTENTIONALLY; NO, NOR ANYTHING OF THE SORT BY CITING THE FOLLOWING QUOTATION. (*This has been your notice of disclaimer.)
I AM, however, raising my eyebrows and muttering "hmmmm...."
"Hitler was also a dedicated non-smoker and promoted aggressive anti-smoking campaigns throughout Germany." (Found on Wikipedia here; Bound source: John Toland, Adolf Hitler, p. 741; Emphasis Mine.)
There is always civil disobedience, of course. I have already written about that. (At the bottom of the post.) Heck, even Hitler's "officers, aides, and secretaries" defied the silliness he aggressively promoted. But it was only after the rule was no longer an issue.
"Several witness accounts relate that, immediately after his suicide was confirmed, many officers, aides, and secretaries in the Führerbunker lit cigarettes." (IBID; Emphasis Mine.)
Like I said. I ain't making any comparisons, and you can draw your own conclusions. But those lines sure as heck got me thinking.
Posted by Carl at 10:31 PM | TrackBack
Even members of MENSA are sometimes silly.
The only proper response to this, found here, was already articulated by Clive.
"Very often, however, this silly procedure is adopted by people who are not silly, but who, consciously or unconsciously, want to destroy Christianity. Such people put up a version of Christianity suitable for a child of six and make that the object of their attack." (Lewis, Mere Christianity)
Posted by Carl at 02:10 AM | TrackBack
March 01, 2007
Chesterton Thursdays, III.
"If it be true (as it certainly is) that a man can feel exquisite happiness in skinning a cat, then the religious philosopher can only draw one of two deductions. He must either deny the existence of God, as all atheists do; or he must deny the present union between God and man, as all Christians do. The new theologians seem to think it a highly rationalistic solution to deny the cat."
Chesterton, Orthodoxy
Orthodoxy online.
Posted by Carl at 10:44 PM | TrackBack